I know you’re out there. Ignoring my words, ignoring your heart. I feel like something is still there but you won’t let it take hold. Fear has taken hold instead. But what can one expect when you have more to worry about than I do. It’s not just you. You have others that you are responsible for. I hear your heart calling out; why can’t you just call…

As I swim in silence I only concentrate on three things, my form, my breathing and her. Its a form of meditation but, instead of clearing my head of thoughts I only focus on those things. Nothing else. And I feel as though it brings me closer to the heart of what she was to me. What she is. But she’s not here. And I’m not angry or mad. I just miss her. I wasn’t scared because what we were was something I didn’t want. I was scared because it was exactly what I wanted. And I enjoyed it. And I never had that before. But I wasn’t trying to push her away. I wanted to get closer.

As the water flows around me she flows into me.

And now I know what true love feels like.

“Become the best person you can be. Then approach her. And if she comes back you know it’s meant to be.”  - Brooke Davis

When we met I was a desert. The plants that sucked me dry long gone with their seeds blown away to start anew elsewhere. You were rain. And as you poured onto me I soaked it all up.  I didn’t want the storm to end. I only wished that it would continue until I became an ocean. And we became one.

“nevermind,” she whispered into the phone as he walked into the room. But, the conversation continued in a very low whisper. However he couldn’t hear what she was saying.

She woke and as the reality of her current situation started to clear through her head she realized the mistake she made. She snuck out leaving him on his hotel bed without him stirring in the slightest. As she drove home she saw a dead cat on the side of the road and thought to herself, the cat was her potential. Left dead on the side of the road. But it was beginning to seem as though she was the one who ran it over.

In the silence of the room I can hear the second hand of the watch as it moves around the bright blue face. Its pale, contrasting numbers giving off a faint glow in the dim light.

“I don’t really get into Halloween,” she says into the phone then pulls on her cigarette. There’s a chair on the balcony but she’s not sitting in it. Instead she stands in the doorway a yellow glow illuminating the room behind her.

they are cursed with the pains of being normal.

She opens the door and breathes in the cold air from outside. Standing in the doorway she lights her cigarette and hears the baby begin to cry.